Tuesday, November 8, 2011

CENSORED!






A morning post from one of my yahoo groups directed all participants to put “mentions God” in the subject line for all subsequent emails.  This is to avoid offending sensitive persons.  I was so inspired by this admonition that I decided to place some restrictions on comments here.  

In the future, please denote clearly your denominational affiliation in the subject line of your comments. That way, the Episcopalians can avoid any rabble rousing comments by the Pentecostals, and I can be sure to keep the Calvinists and Arminians separated and on topic.  If you belong to a non-denominational Church, just claim “mentions hand raising” so the rest of us can avoid reading the post and feeling un-spiritual about our more subdued form of worship.  If you are a creationist, write “mentions young earth” or “mentions old earth,” so I can only read the posts that I agree with. 

If you are not a Christian – just write “mentions allah” or “mentions buddha” so others can avoid being inadvertently converted.   If you’re an atheist, write “mentions atheism,” so we can all avoid being offended by you listing everything you’re offended by - and your incessant whining about religious people hurting your feelings.

More serious to me, however, are the health nuts.  Please warn me beforehand by “mentions granola” so I can avoid reading your post about baking your own bread and eating organic foods.  I don’t want to feel guilty the rest of the day while downing my Krispy Kremes and whole milk.  Sushi eaters should identify themselves clearly so I’m not irrevocably psychologically damaged by picturing you eating raw fish and pretending you like it just to look trendy.  Bleh.  

If you are not a Republican, or if you are a Republican with beliefs other than mine, identify yourself appropriately: “Mentions Obama,” “Mentions paying off the student debt of other people’s children,” “Mentions raising taxes,” are all posts that might be upsetting to me.  I want to avoid those. 

If you live in a home that is nicer than mine or drive a Mercedes, be sure to write, “mentions idolatry” in your subject line, because surely you must be greed driven and it might whip me into a retail frenzy that I’ll never pay off.  If you’re receiving unemployment, write “mentions on the dole,” and how long you’ve been that way, so we can all evaluate whether or not you’re milking the system.  Lastly, if you are upset about not getting your adoption tax rebate soon enough, write “mentions tax rebate,” so I don’t have to get upset about not getting one at all.  I think that about covers it.  Anyone else? 

15 comments:

  1. Oh Kim, you forgot about us homeschooling radicals! LOL! Karen Weger

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  2. Love this Kim! :) I agree with the above commenter. You must include that non-homeschoolers should write "mentions public school family" just in case the topic of anti-social homeschooled kids comes up so others can avoid it; and homeschoolers should include "mention homeschooling" so the public school readers can avoid reading of homeschooling kids learning Latin and graduating hs at 16 and disturbing stuff like that. Might want to also ask unschoolers to announce themselves so everyone else can avoid reading such radical education ideas lest they inadvertantly get converted there also :) LOL!

    I think I'll just stick to this "code"...if I don't agree with something someone wrote, I just stop reading it and move on :)

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  3. Kim-
    I love your post...but at the same time it's very sad. It's so disturbing how our society/world has gotten to a place of so many gray areas. There is no right and wrong anymore. Oh for the simpler days of our youth!! (Which was quite some time ago)

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  4. You GO GIRL!!!!!!! Love it, Love it, Love it!!!!!!! I will challenge you on the healthy stuff! How about "mentions candy" so I don't get tempted and eat every bit of my kids Halloween candy!!!! Oh and I guess we should mention Halloween cause you know I don't like all that scary stuff. I would hate to read a post about Halloween and gets so scared that I go and eat all my kids Halloween candy!!! Shoot, now I am hungry - for CANDY!!!!

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  5. I seriously laughed myself to tear and Colin was so interested in what was that funny that he translated your post into Chinese so he could read it too! LOL

    We are seriously two peas in a pod girl!! You did miss the obvious home school thing and Annie, we love you even if you are healthy and gorgeous! We try to overlook flaws like that!

    Angie

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  6. As always, love your sense of humor!!! Hope all is well in "Jacksonville" :)

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  7. LOVE this post, Kim! You nailed it! :)

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  8. God God God God God God God God God God God God
    God God God God God God God God God God God GodGod God God God God God God God God God God GodGod God God God God God God God God God God GodGod God God God God God God God God God God GodGod God God God God God God God God God God GodGod God God God God God God God God God God GodGod God God God God God God God God God God GodGod God God God God God God God God God God GodGod God God God God God God God God God God GodGod God God God God God God God God God God GodGod God God God God God God God God God God God So there. Tom

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  9. GO KIM!!!! Wow! You've covered just about all the bases.... THANK YOU! :-)

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  10. Too funny Tom!!! Love it! Angie, you are too funny:):)

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  11. mentions: I am so tired of people thinking they have a righgt to not be offended!

    here here!

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  12. I'm catching up from a long time away from your blog- and I read this and LAUGHED OUT LOUD. You are spot on...-Vea

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  13. Just found your blog...love this post!

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