Homeschooling Odds and Ends

I remember when I first started homeschooling that January was a difficult time.  It was HARD to push on and the time I most often thought of throwing in the towel.  The homeschooling support group usually had some inspirational speaker come to town and give a presentation this time of year, and it motivated me enough to continue on, and reminded me why I began this lifestyle in the first place:  to lay the foundation of Jesus Christ in my children's education.

I was often plagued by doubts and fears, guilt and exhaustion, and I was constantly comparing myself (and my children) to others.  My first two kids loved homeschooling - except on the days when I injected those emotional worries into our daily routine by over scheduling, changing or second guessing curriculum, and complaining about what a sacrifice I was making compared to "most other moms."

I no longer experience this in January - and spent some time trying to figure out what has changed.  Time gives perspective, but most of all - adoption came into our lives.  And that gives a perspective all of its own as to what is important in life.  Here are the things I've learned.

The practical stuff:  My college guys are doing well in school -incredibly well with time management (they also work a good many hours a week at a grocery store), with deadlines and tracking assignments, and surprisingly with writing - the subject in which I felt the most lacking.  The things I taught best were the things that interested them the least, and their interest and aptitude in other subjects made up for the places where I was weak.  My lack of deadlines and in some cases testing did not interfere with their ability to meet deadlines and do well on tests.  Teaching study skills: flashcards, discussion, and note taking (BJU Press Writing and Grammar) paid dividends.

 The use of BJU Press video and online teachers worked great for math preparation, writing, and other, and basic labs in science prepared them well.   Their lack of interest in the "great books of fiction" did not cripple them, but the few I forced them to read left great impressions.  Movies like "A Tale of Two Cities," made up for the wordy style of authors like Dickens, and our BJU Press Literature classes helped them understand the world views of many skilled but morally skewed writers.  They recognize propaganda - both hostile and friendly. YWAM missionary biographies - were encouraging in their faith - and some of our favorite reads.

They were able to pursue their academic and musical interests without the daily teen angst and pop culture onslaught that many kids experience.  They had time in their day to daydream and imagine, create and reflect.  Not always stuff I liked, but free of the noise and distraction of treadmill lives.  They remember everything I discussed with them - even when it seemed like they weren't paying attention.  They really appreciated the Spiritual guidance and wisdom of their BJU Press video teachers and remember much of it today.

Mrs. Vick

History was best learned through discussion of text and correlating video images or historical fiction.  (They'll never forget the filmed and brutal verbal attack against a Chinese college professor by ignorant peasants (during the Cultural Revolution) or the haunting images of holocaust victims.) We didn't always watch the entire documentary - but just a few images brought the text to life.  Fiction movies worked well, too.

http://www.learningwiththemovies.com/page8.html

Service projects were best done when you were face to face with the recipients - whether locally or globally.

Adoption perspective:  I worked so hard, and waited and prayed so long for my adopted children, that I can't imagine taking homeschooling for granted anymore.  I missed so much of their lives already!  I don't judge curricula except by Christian content.  That is non-negotiable.  My girls are overjoyed to hear about a God who loves them, knows them by name, and calls them "beloved." He makes them a "new creature in Christ - the old is gone, the new is here," and this resonates well because of their sometimes traumatic histories.  Jesus Christ is the foundation of all knowledge.  This is the rock we build on.

I have used public school resources - particularly kindergarten and ESOL. I am thankful for the many Christians in our local system that have made this a friendly place for us. I have learned from the many gifted educators over the years and still reach out for advice and help when needed.  I miss the school librarians and art teachers the most.  I wish we still had Christian based education in small classrooms and schools, but the trend is away from that.  The homeschooling community has become it's own resource, however, with its many gifted teachers who build on the same foundation that we do - Christ.

In conclusion, the challenges haven't changed, but my perspective has, and I don't worry anymore.  When things get ugly, we know tomorrow is another day.  When an aquarium trip would make our lesson more fruitful, we go and know that the rest can wait.  I get lots of video and online help.  When I see the long list of activities and accomplishments of other homeschooling families, it inspires me - but I know I can't do it all.  I know that I must have gifts, too, and that they were handpicked by God for my children's good.  I value the arts more.  I know that God forgives my weaknesses and sins, and prunes and strengthens me for the next day.  I know that what my children become largely depends on their own desires and motivation and mostly upon their willingness to listen to God.  I know that I'm a decent parent and that God makes up for any lack on my part if my children are willing to receive.

Blessings, Kim

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.  Galations 1:10

Jesus at Christmas

This Christmas season has been full of running to events and parties, making cookies and gifts, and watching the excitement as the girls experience all the firsts; decorating the tree, Christmas lights, Nativity play, etc. 

Rachel performed beautifully at her piano recital

And we finally got our Christmas cards out - without the pretty matching tops I hoped to use

But in the midst of the fun, we've managed to keep focused on the true meaning of Christmas - God with us - walking among us - 2,000 years ago.  During her Bible study this morning, Katie asked if she could pray to accept Jesus into her heart.  While Rachel early knew the love of God, Jenny was attracted to the justice and protection of God, and Sarah was BORN with the joy of the Lord,  Katie has never felt His call till now.  My most pragmatic and sensible child, she lives in the here and now, always serving and not easily moved.  I was overjoyed to pray with her and can't think of a better Christmas gift.

So after the excitement, the girls are now insisting that we set up a Bible Club for children in our house - Jenny says we "need" to do this - and they're all very excited about it.  Not sure what they have in mind, but they want to teach other children the wonderful things they've learned about God in the nearly nine months they've been home.  I'm sure they'll be able to accomplish anything they set out to do - so I'm looking forward to what the New Year will bring.  Praising God for His mercy and every day thanking Him for the blessings of these beautiful children.

Please remember to pray for "Chad" - he has only days to find a committed family.

Blessings, Kim

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.  Isaiah 9:2

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  Isaiah 9:6

Discouraged

I have been praying and advocating for this boy since March - and not one person has asked about him.     He has been waiting - first with a foster family - and now in the orphanage for more than 10 years.  He and his best friend "Chad" have been waiting together, and now a family has come forward for his best buddy - but Chaz (pictured above) has only two and a half months for his family to find him before he ages out.  He is now almost 14 years old, and reportedly "nice, funny, generous" and wants nothing more than to "become a useful person."  His special need is simply that at a young age his hair fell out. It has grown back in.  He now looks like this:

Can you see his terrific personality shining through?  Humor gets you far in life, and helps you deal with the worst of circumstances.  He has the look of optimism in his eyes, and I hope and pray that someone "sees their son" in this picture.  He can take a toy car apart and put it back together.  He has spent nearly 14 years on this earth never having a dad to teach him sports or a mom to cheer him on.  My heart is breaking because the outlook is grim - he needs a miracle family - someone with incredible energy, resources, and most of all faith - to make this happen.  He needs all of US to intercede for him with the father.

Mother Teresa once said, and I agree:

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.  

Please remember Chaz in your prayers.

Thankful for...myself??

     Yep - you read the title right - thankful for myself.  While we spent time thanking God for our many blessings at Thanksgiving, one little girl had her own "thankful ideas:"

     If you read the back of the table place card carefully,  it reads, "I love myself, love, me."  That's our girl!  There's no doubt that a good foster family can make a huge difference for a child, and our Sarah was well loved. :)  She made place cards expressing her love for everyone on the backs - including herself, haha - the source of her brimming confidence.  She is incredibly smart and loving, bringing home new awards every day from school - she's also my designated "informer" keeping me apprised of any misbehavior in the home, neighborhood, or anywhere else we go.  We're working on that Pharisaical attitude - but for now it comes in handy, lol.

     Jenny took on the dreaded task of gravy making - and is another common sense competent girl like sister Katie.   They amaze me with their servant's hearts and ability to solve household problems at such a young age.  Jenny can fix anything, is diligent with school, and as more of her former life story unfolds, we understand more of her personality.  She is an honest child, but is still learning to trust us.  As long as we keep heaps of food in her life, she's joyful and content.  I'm not sure where she puts it all, but the "fight's on" when the dishes hit the table, and I've taken to superstore portions of bread and rolls to make sure we don't run short.

For anyone freaking out at the above picture, we're drinking Apple Cider in the wine glasses!

     We don't have any exciting travel pictures to share, or momentous stories to tell, just plain everyday life with school, activities, and cooking to feed a ravenous family.   It makes it hard to blog when you don't have anything exciting to trumpet, other than this is the easiest adoption we've ever done.  The most challenging aspect has been giving both girls the attention and help they need with such monumental tasks such as learning to speak English and reading - it's time consuming and pretty much takes up most of each day.  While they learn fast, they both are eager to get back to the level of competency they had in Chinese, and that will take a long time with much effort.

     We continue to work on the decibel level of Jenny's speech  - her limited hearing makes speaking quietly nearly impossible.  Sarah speaks loudly because that is her personality and she will most certainly wind up on a stage somewhere in life.  We've struggled to keep glasses on Jenny's head without an ear to hold them up (and a receding skull), and are at our wits end with what to do.  We've had a lot of arguing among the girls as everyone jockeys for their "new positions" in the family, but that's mostly settled out.  They really enjoy each other's company and are all so very different.  We are so thankful for each and every one.  The boys enjoy spending time with their sisters, and have had very little change in their lives as college and work keep them very busy.

     I'm praying a lot this week for friends like Chris and "K" who are struggling with medical and attachment issues with their recent adoptions - we've been there and it's so hard on everyone - especially Mom.  It will get better, and they WILL reap after sowing so long - but it's hard to remember in the midst of the storm.  Please pray for both ladies and also for "Chaz," a young boy turning 14 in March.  He needs a miracle to find a family before he ages out of the system in 4 months.  Please pray he gets his chance to know the love of a family before it's too late.  I can't imagine not having that one gift in life - the gift of being loved.

Blessings,
Kim

Fall, Football, and Fun

Not much to talk about here - daily life goes on with homeschooling, public schooling, college exams, yardwork, and house cleaning.  Throw in a couple of late night presidential debates, dance, rehab, dental and doctor's appointments, and we've got a full schedule!  With six kiddos, it's a numbers game with cooking, laundry, activities, and routine stuff that keeps me short on time, big on fun!  I wish I had more time for friends and service and am trying to work that into our crazy life.  Bible study happens, but Bible application is a more complicated matter.

The male side of the house is committed to football this time of year, and I've given up resisting.  We find outdoor things to do to avoid "Sunday surround sound," and occasionally, the girls get in the excitement with the various fan gear left laying around.  I don't get the sports hoopla, but I suppose I'm outnumbered here in the South and in our family at large!  Rachel sports Clint's Viking gear below:

My Bible resistant one, Jenny, has enjoyed finding scripture to memorize lately, as a result of her BJU Press Bible study in the morning.  She loves doing the 1st grade Bible text as it is on her reading level and she is able to understand it.  Last night, she was excited to see the different Chinese hymns on youtube such as this one HERE.

Sarah is my clingy one - a super "mama's girl," and loves constant affection when not engaged in outside or other activity.

The younger girls all take a dance class together and love goofing around to Christian music at night - they love singing and dancing and fill our lives with a rather high level of noise, activity, and joy - 24/7 - leaving me thankful for a big backyard and a few minutes of peace here and there.

 I turn 50 this month, and thank God that I'm healing nicely from my AT rupture this May.  Rehab has given me lots of energy and fitness that wasn't there pre-injury.  As far as keeping up, I did lay down the law on Bible study in the morning this weekend - as without God first-  I'm pretty frazzled the rest of the day.  The girls understand that they have to give me that 30 minutes now - and our days proceed more smoothly so far.  That time with God is the source of my strength, joy, and patience - which wears thin without supernatural help. :)

Oddly enough, Jenny seems to be interested in Chinese again and we've made great effort to separate the culture from her individual experience (see previous post.)  We are coordinating a "China Day" for her sister's class at school, and she will be teaching us her various paper folding skills, character writing, and other fun things to do with the 1st graders.  I am thankful to see her healing and moving forward.

The big boys are doing well in school, encouraging those who aren't, and voting Republican.  Can't ask for more than that! :) (except maybe more conservative wardrobe choices)  We are seeking to simplify our lives each day to allow more downtime.  We haven't had much success there - but the days proceed with a steady pace of love and family time so I can't complain.  Wishing we had more time to do something great for God, but for this season, He seems to be directing us to focus home and children first.  Thanking God for our barrels of blessings.
Love,
Kim

Beauty for Ashes

…(the Lord will) provide for those who grieve in Zion--to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.  Isaiah 61:3

This is the first adoption we’ve had where our children had many memories of their past.  Our first daughter was a toddler, and while clearly affected by her institutional start, she had no verbal memories of her beginnings.  Our second daughter had several traumatic surgeries at 5 years old, including much time on the bypass machine, and possibly as a result, has few memories left of her early years.

But our new girls remember everything. 

They were born skilled communicators and value relationships greatly.  They are people oriented and watch and evaluate everyone around them.  They are excellent storytellers and as their command of English grows, we hear more and more about their different pasts. 

One dd has stories so comical that no one could make them up – she was clearly loved, cherished, and spoiled by all who came in contact with her.  Her enthusiasm for life is hard to resist, and even those who would notice her visible differences are quickly diverted by her winning personality.  She is a force to be reckoned with, so any attempts at mocking would have likely resulted in the mocker’s quick demise.  But there was evidently little of that, and she possesses a confidence born of nurturing and love.  How they must miss her!

 Our other child had a much different experience.  When we heard her speak fondly of those she missed, we promised to take her back to visit.   But shortly after returning home, she refused to speak her former language – even to friends.  Yesterday, out of nowhere, the heartbreaking details of her past emerged through sobs and tears.  She expressed terror that she might have to return. Our sweet natured girl had suffered at the hands of one who was supposed to protect her, but she had been afraid to speak out for fear of worse.  Her visible differences were used as an excuse for violence and mocking, and her only reprieve was in a few protectors and school.

So things are not always what they seem, and I would caution parents to follow the lead of a child who may not be telling the whole story at first. While she had loving people in her life, they were unable to protect her from those whose cowardly anger was vented on a defenseless child.  Our good intentions in keeping her past alive had caused her anxiety and worry for the last several months – the last thing she needed after years of pain and vigilance.   As she firmly states, “My life is here now.” 

She is remarkably unscathed by a past that would make most of us timid and unable to trust.  She is a sponge for affection and wants so badly to please –something she was unable to do for those in her former life.  We are awed by her resilience and optimism and believe she will accomplish anything she puts her mind to.  We now understand the compelling call we received from God two summers ago to bring this child home.  When she now spontaneously blurts out, “I’m so happy living here,” we know she really means, “ I feel so safe, secure, and permanent living here.”

Yesterday, we received the incredible news that despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, this child was not affected by the genetic syndrome we had been told was so likely.  It was a miracle, and she was cleared of all medical worries for the future.  We think it is the beginning of a new life of blessings, “beauty for ashes,” that God has in store for this brave girl.  

 If your heart is calling you to a child, consider it may be because of great need – regardless of the difficulties of finances, fear of the unknown, and impossibility of their SN or your current situation.  It may be an answer to a child’s prayer.  Listen to that call and trust God to work out the details – and deliver that child from a lifetime of loneliness.  

Blessings, Kim

6 months home

We are settling into a normal but busy life.  The girls are pictured above with Rachel when she got her ears pierced on Saturday.  Katie really wanted to get hers pierced, but I had to check with the doc for both her and Jenny since they've both had open heart surgery and I was afraid they'd need antibiotics.  But the doc said no - so back we went to Claires today.

Jenny kept saying, "I'm so 'cited, Mom.  It's just so 'citing." (meaning excited. :) ) And no, they didn't do it for half price since she only got one ear pierced...at least we'll have an extra earring for her prosthetic ear when we get it.

 Katie was a trooper - but Jenny needed to hold my hand.  It's interesting how Jenny is so self sufficient, yet more like a younger girl with many things.  She's very frightened of medical things - despite of, or perhaps as a result of, her early hospitalizations for open heart surgeries.  She needs to be reassured all the time, and still doesn't quite trust our love.  She gets very excited when she writes a composition well enough for a sticker on her book - she never got those early grade rewards.

She gets stickers for obvious care and effort in her 3 sentence compositions each day.  She enjoys this basic work and drawing the pictures - even though she's able to read fairly high level material in her native language - including Tom Sawyer.   I found out why she was behind in school:  apparently many schools would not accept an orphan.  It took her foster mother 2 years to find one that would accept her.  She said they were very nice to her at that school.

Sarah is super confident - as you can tell from this pic:

Hands are always on hips - and she walks like she owns the world.  She loves 1st grade and improved so much in reading this summer that she won't qualify for the Reading Recovery program at her school. (bummer) She is barrels of fun and finds friends wherever she goes.  Jenny is much more insecure at home - and has dealt with a lot of rejection and hurt in her life due to her visible differences.  She tries to control everything and everyone around her - which gets on my nerves since that's MY issue, lol!  Funny how God sends you kids with your own issues - even if you weren't the ones to relay them!  Homeschooling has been perfect for her - giving her confidence and the closeness that she needs.

One interesting thing is that neither girl will speak Chinese anymore - and honestly seem befuddled with both languages right now.  They were very eager to speak to Chinese friends when we arrived home, but are now so immersed in English that they're thinking in this language.  I think they'll do better in a few months as they get the two separated in their brains.

I love these girls and almost weep when I think that we may have missed finding them a world away.  The boy in my last post - along with many others - is another one of these treasures waiting for a family to bless. (ok - and occasionally annoy - haha!)  They're precious, they're God's children, and so much fun to get to know.   Four miracles in our lives - most people never even get one. 

Blessings, Kim